PSALMS FROM A JADED HEART

There are times I want to detach the strings of my heart from yours – but you never let go. I have despised you, denied your presence, mocked your essence and even denounced You, but you held me tight. Things slipped away and did not go my way, but you still waved when i faltered.

You are a God who wants to be my friend and yearns to be my friend. You want every breath of mine to be filled with a talk from You.

You have made me understand I do not need any groundbreaking rituals and floor splitting ceremonies just to get to know You.

There’s no need to rant the Bible like a clanging cymbal or a resounding brass if I do not have the spirit of love. Even in the quiet moments of meditation, You are right here with me.

You cleansed my scarlet stained life and made it as a white as snow.

You ousted the spirit of addiction and restored Your spirit of love.

You bridged the gap by dying on the cross to pay for my froth.

You mounted that pillar of hope, when friends crushed my life.

You embalmed me with the incense of grace to finish the race.

You split the veil from top to bottom just to give me that confidence to approach your throne without fear and trembling.

You filled my mouth with a new song of praise.

You saved me from the wiles of evil when shame had been projected out of me.

You have clasped me and held me in your hands like a priceless gem.

Who would comprehend why a God like you, would want a friend like me?

I lost my way; groping in the dark and faltering in stark dust, but you brought me back to you by calling out my name in the secret places.

You raised me up from the shadows of affliction and the meadows of depression.

It is difficult to fathom how an invisible and perfect God can love a finite and fallible being like me.

Help me review Your word of truth!

Help me meditate on Your word day and night. My soul longs for You!

You cherish the daily devotionals I learn from you, the appointments I schedule with you and the conversations I engage in with You.

You advise me against using a great multiplicity of words in prayer, just to show off; teaching me how to pray from the heart.

You wish I would turn common places into communion places just to dine with You.

I desire to understand every secret of this life you have hidden from me, a mere mortal.

I desire to speak to you through this prayer and hear your voice today.

Knowing you and loving you would forever be my greatest privilege!

Eliezer

PARANOIA

Walking down memory lane, I remember a novel I read 9 years ago – Paranoia by Joseph Finder. It sounds like a nice name you would want your eldest son to bear but don’t dab. It caresses like a chained cat in a cage.
Right after reading the book gladly, I didn’t understand the concept, but the delectation that followed the reaction of finishing a novel was priceless. Just like the ‘Thank You’ slide at the end of a PowerPoint presentation.
So what is Paranoia? I know it sounds like the worst insult you would want to throw at a foe, or push off the back of a friend, but its incarnate hands touch and hold the mass. In the world of psychiatry, paranoia is a thought process which hangs on the scale of anxiety and fear.
Anxiety is something we all experience naturally. Especially stepping in the big shoes of a mentor or holding the hot cup of a friend in fiery fire. But when it slides into the mud of irrationality that your heart hits faster than the speed of light or you sweat drizzly than a dolphin, you know its abnormal.
Paranoid people – I think I rhymed there… are ubiquitous in our society. They sit at the four corners of every room and keep burying themselves in a hole of hostility. The King (Paranoia) takes its throne on their heads and rules their heart and mind. Unless it’s dethroned and decapitated, it would keep dissolving the world from generation to generation.
Paranoid people have small eyes which reel in the world of perfection…I think I rhymed again. Those with gigantic eyes wear thick glasses encased with a rim of intentional persecution which thrive in an atmosphere of watchful waiting…from parents down to pals.
Paranoia swims in the sea of unforgiveness and bears a shield of defense in response to imagined criticism. It tries to emerge from a mole of mistrust preoccupied with hidden motives. The poet in me tried to rule there… Paranoid thoughts and feelings are connected to events and relationships in a person’s life.
Paranoid people are faithful (in the negative sense) because delusions hallmark their dreams. Delusions are odd beliefs that a person would firmly insist are true despite evidence they are not.
Paranoia slimes like a slithery snake of suspicion and bites any on looking person with bitter bile.
Let me get back to the real deal, Paranoid people are worried a lot and expect others to criticize and reject them. They take a step back when everyone moves forward. They ace summaries with distinctions and come to conclusions so easily with a strong impenetrable head.
There can be specific things that may engage paranoid thoughts; like sleeping less or taking medications but their vile vulnerability vehemently voices their childhood. They were bullied at school and always appeared last in class. Paranoia just like a potted plant kept growing in their palms.
Paranoid thoughts emanate usually from rich homes where there is isolation from the rest of the world. The only connection to the global maze is through smart screens and wavy wires.
Paranoid people worry a lot and are likely to interpret things in a negative norm. However, paranoia could stem from a myriad of physical illnesses such as strokes, dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Alzheimer (I think I would name my puppy this).
There is a strong influence in parenting when it comes to paranoia – It gropes in the genes and transcends the trolley from father to son or mother to daughter.
But paranoia can be treated. It involves building a trusting and collaborative relationship with people; moving in groups when there is the tendency to icily isolate yourself. Treatment is gradual but there are success stories.
Get tested for paranoia and receive treatment because the world has to be a better place!
Enjoy your day!

Eliezer Bernard Owusu Ntim

PhotoCredit : GoogleImages

INSPIRATION

Finding inspiration

In the midst of objection

Channels affection to the meaningless

And attention to the profitless

The feelings that envelope

The optimism that elopes

Succumb to the fear of annihilation

And the distress of renunciation

The silence of withdrawal

Reaches out to the voice of laxity

The utterance of affinity

Fetches an audience of insensitivity

The leaf that floats on the river of desolation

Hitches on the rock of expectation

Exalting its feet of abjection

Magnifying its air of inclination.

Well, this is my first ever poem I’m writing after I had inspiration from Jess, Obed and Josephine. I never thought of writing a poem in the first place.I think it’s an effort, I tried! I’m hoping my next poems would be better than this one.

Eliezer Bernard Owusu Ntim

Photocredit: GoogleImages