AT CROSSROADS: PREPARING FOR THE BATTLE BEFORE ME

Monday is approaching.

My final Psychiatry examinations are scheduled for Monday, and if I am being completely honest with myself, I am not as prepared as I should be.

There is still so much to read. So many topics to revise. So many details to remember.

Yet, strangely, as the examination draws closer, I find myself losing the urge to study.

The closer the deadline gets, the harder it feels to sit down and continue.

I have experienced this before. There are moments when you know what you need to do, you understand the consequences of not doing it, and yet something inside you seems to resist taking the next step.

For me, this has forced me to think beyond the books.

I believe in God. I believe in prayer. I believe there are spiritual battles we sometimes face, especially when we are pursuing something meaningful.

I also believe I have a responsibility to do my part.

Faith does not remove preparation.

Prayer does not replace discipline.

I must pray, and I must study.

I must trust God, and I must open the books.

I must ask God for strength, and then use the strength He gives me.

The Bible says:

“Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.”
Proverbs 16:3

So I am committing these examinations to God.

I refuse to allow fear to become stronger than my faith.

I refuse to allow apathy to dictate my actions.

I refuse to spend these remaining hours telling myself that I am too far behind to make a difference.

There is still work to do.

There are still pages to read.

There are still questions to answer.

There are still concepts to revise.

And there is still time to make the most of what I have.

The enemy may desire to see me fail. I acknowledge the spiritual dimension of my journey, but I also recognize something important: I must not surrender my responsibility to prepare.

The battle for Monday begins today.

I am reminded of Joshua 1:9:

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

I need courage.

I need discipline.

I need clarity.

I need endurance.

Most importantly, I need God.

I have come too far to abandon the journey because the final stretch feels difficult.

I think about the years of training. The long days. The nights spent studying. The patients. The calls. The sacrifices. The examinations already passed. The moments when I wondered whether I would make it this far.

Yet here I am.

At the final examination.

Perhaps I do not need to feel motivated before I begin.

Perhaps I simply need to begin.

One topic.

One page.

One question.

One hour.

Then another.

Apathy, be gone.

Fear, be gone.

Discouragement, be gone.

I choose discipline over avoidance.

I choose faith over fear.

I choose action over paralysis.

I choose to believe that God has brought me this far for a reason.

Philippians 4:13 reminds me:

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

So I will study.

I will pray.

I will rest when I need to rest.

I will return to the books when I wake.

I will do everything within my power to prepare.

And when Monday comes, I will walk into that examination room knowing that I gave these final hours everything I had.

The outcome belongs to God.

The preparation belongs to me.

Lord, give me strength for the remaining days.

Give me understanding when I study.

Give me retention when I revise.

Give me peace when anxiety rises.

Give me discipline when I feel apathetic.

Give me wisdom when I answer.

And above all, remind me that my identity is not determined by one examination.

I have come this far by grace.

And by grace, I will keep going.

Apathy, be gone.

There is still work to do.